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Without
Hesitation
teisho
by Ven. Anzan Hoshin roshi
July
13th 1988 , Daijozan
Zanshin
means “the remaining mind” and also “the mind with no remainder.” This
is the mind of complete action. It is the moment in kyudo (Zen archery)
after releasing the arrow. This is “ Om makurasai sowaka” in oryoki practice
and drinking the rinse water. In shodo, it is finishing the brush stroke
and the hand and brush moving smoothly off the paper. In taking a step,
it is the weight rolling smoothly and the next step arising. In breathing
in completely, it is this breath. In breathing out completely, it is this
breath. In life, it is this life. Zanshin means complete follow through,
leaving no trace. It means each thing, completely, as it is.
When
body, breath, speech and mind are broken from each other and scattered
in concept and strategy, then no true action can reveal itself. There
is only hesitation, or trying to push oneself past hesitation. This is
the mind of hope and fear, which arises because one is trying to live
in some other moment, instead of in the moment that arises now. One is
comparing, planning, or trying to maintain an illusion of control in the
midst of a reality which is completely beyond control.
“Beyond
control” does not mean “out of control;” it means that the sense of solidity,
comfort and predictability that self-image tries to maintain is completely
irrelevant to one's actual experiences. You don't even know what this
sentence is going to say until you have read it. Once you've read it,
the black shapes and letters become words and meanings and then you have
the sense that you have read it. It is only after a thought has arisen
that you have the illusion that you have thought it.
Self-image
arises as memory, as a contraction around the vividness of life as it
is and, in order to ascertain a sense of its own continuity, it lumps
things together, piles them up and strings itself along. It can only do
this by ignoring most of the details of the moment, and it dulls their
vividness by pushing and pulling itself into an imaginary “past” or “future.”
However, the energy of the arising of this moment is the energy of our
life itself, and by backing away from this vast energy we find ourselves
lifeless, confined, hesitating, awkward, angry, judgemental, guilty, sad.
Zanshin
means to do each thing completely. Doing this does not mean to stick and
hold. Sometimes, in sitting, you find yourself lost in a thought and then
you wake up and cut the thought; then you find yourself going back to
check if you've cut that thought. But that thought is gone and you are
only trying to find a definition of yourself, you are only trying to become
someone who has “cut the thought.” Instead, when you wake up from the
thought, that's it. What now? Zanshin then means, a mind of continual
readiness, like a mirror ready to reflect whatever is shown to it.
In
the martial arts, Zanshin means having no break in our activity, because
there is no time to take back a stride or block and fix it. It also means
going beyond technique, because we cannot force the situation to conform
to the technique. The angle of the strike and the force of the strike
must be adjusted immediately to the energy of the partner.
In
practice we must go beyond strategies of defense and hesitation. We must
open up to the energy of mind itself as it expresses itself as seeing,
hearing, touching, tasting, smelling and thinking. Penetrating into this
energy, we must go beyond all barriers.
Often,
when we try to express complete activity in zazen or dokusan, in doing
the dishes, weeding the garden, or paying our bills, we try to impose
some kind of “fresh” mind, we try to manufacture some kind of mind of
practice, or mind of wisdom. But true action or true wisdom arises from
the energy of this moment itself. In continually renewing mindfulness
of what simply is, we find that this fresh mind knows what to do. There
is the mind of seeing, the mind of hearing, the mind of posture, the mind
of walking, of sitting, of standing, as well as the mind of thoughts.
When we stop trying to impose “our mind” upon the moment, the mind of
the moment can express itself clearly and complete Knowing opens as the
ten directions and the three times. This is what the "Avatamsaka
sutra" is pointing to in its talk of Buddhas and Buddha-realms in
all directions. It also means opening to the clarity of experiences and
penetrating into the nature of experiencing itself. We must find our wisdom
in the simplicity and richness of this moment itself. Blue is unquestionably
blue. Breath is breath. Sound is sound.
Zanshin
means allowing each Dharma to exert itself as what it is. It means that
“ wherever a thing stands, it covers its own ground ,” as Dogen
zenji says in the "Genjokoan". It means to
take a complete step. It means leaving nothing behind and pushing nothing
forward. It means paying attention to our lives.
 
©
1988-2004 White Wind Zen Community. All rights reserved.
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