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Mind
the Gap
Mondo
presented by Ven. Shikai Zuiko osho
Dainen-ji,
September 28, 2002
[Gong
strike]
“The
Dharma is vast and deep
Perfectly
penetrating, rare to encounter through numberless kalpas
Now
we can see it and hear it, open and attain it.
We
vow to penetrate to the Tathagata's true Teachings.”
[Gong
strike]
If
and when you travel to London, England and you decide you would like to
go and sit at Harrow Zazenkai, which is really in South Harrow, you would
be, let's say, in downtown London and you'd be going to take the Underground
because it is really very efficient and an inexpensive way to travel.
Then you'd have to find out how to get where you want to go and this can
be kind of confusing for us the first few times. We look: we have stations
and lines and the lines are Bakerloo, Central, Circle, District, East
London, Hammersmith and City, Jubilee, Metropolitan, Waterloo and City,
Victoria , Piccadilly and Northern. And if you are like most traveler's
– I'm speaking from experience – in the beginning of setting out to travel
you look at the map in the Underground and go, “Oh no” and all of a sudden
we tend to lose, often, capacity for following lines and following directions
and so on. And it can be quite confusing because there are lots of people
rushing around and they all look like they know where they're going and
self-image, being the way it is, will say to itself, “Well, look at them.
They all know where they're going and they're probably noticing me looking
as if I don't know where I'm going” because that's how self-image is.
It believes itself to be the centre of the universe.
So
once we get it straightened out that, yes, the best way to get there would
be to take the Piccadilly Line and then we notice that there's all sorts
of stations that we may be going by. We start at Piccadilly Circus, then
we have Hyde Park Corner, Knightsbridge, Gloucester Road , Earl's Court,
Baron's Court, Hammersmith, Green Park , and a couple more in between,
Acton Town . We have to be careful at Acton Town because if we are on
the wrong train we could end up at Heathrow. So we don't know, we've never
done this before, so our hearing and our sight could get a little garbled
because we are so worried about being lost we've forgotten that we always
are where we are and that we have actually, should we choose to exercise
the capacity to open states, we have enough time. So we go to the train
that is going to take us to Sudbury Town , Sudbury Hill and South Harrow
and then we get off.
I've
taken that route lots of times and I notice that, interestingly, people
who are totally familiar with what they are doing and with their route,
will hurry down the escalators. They are running. Then they will get on
the train and immediately start to do something, anything else, to distract
themselves from the tedious journey. So we have headsets and phones and
sandwiches and books and so on.
Now
this is a universal. This type of behavior is a universal. It's not limited
to the London Underground. In fact, we do this with our lives: birth,
death, and in between, maintenance.
[Laughter]
Or
birth, death, and depending upon what time in history we are born, to
what group of people, to what our family circumstances are, we may have
in between, culturally appropriate and significant landmarks. So we will
have birth and then we might have, depending upon certain fixtures, we
might have things like circumcision, baptism, school, dating, wedding,
children.
Tedium
Tedium
Tedium
Death
So
it varies according to what the cultural signifiers are. Most of us will
never question into any of the cultural signifiers, just as a person on
that train will wake up when they hear Acton Town . The rest in between
is the mmmm…
[Osho
imitates the drone of a moving train]
“…mind
the gap.” (imitating the voice of the announcer) Mmmmm…
[Osho
imitates the drone of a moving train]
“…mind
the gap.” But even that “mind the gap” gets eventually clouded over and
that is something – to “mind the gap” is to notice, when you are on the
train and you are going to get off the train, that at some stations there
is a gap between the train door and the platform. Terrible things can
and have happened to people who are not aware of the gap. You can get
your foot stuck in it and that would be a disaster. But after a while,
after we hear anything for a while, we human beings tend not to listen,
tend not to look, and tend not to pay attention, because self-image says
it knows what's going on, and nothing's going to happen to it anyway,
so why should it have to pay attention to what ordinary hoi polloi pay
attention to? Or it may not even be that sophisticated: We just shut down
until we get to what we want, to our destination.
Now,
in this practice, the gap is quite a different thing, or the gap that
I am talking about today, is a different thing. And it is always a good
idea to clarify what you're talking about, what you are hearing, what
it means. So in some teisho that Roshi has given he's talked about a “gap
in practice” and of course that means the practice is not continuous.
Any word can only mean what it is heard to mean. If it is understood because
of context of past experience in a certain way, that's what it is going
to mean to the person who hears it. I may say any word, you may use any
word. in a certain way and be quite sure that everyone is going to understand
what you mean but that is not the case. Our experience defines the meaning
of the word.
So
a gap…I looked in the big dictionary that I have downstairs and of course
it is a very important text because it has teeny-tiny type and you have
to get a big magnifying glass to read it and we all know that that makes
it very, very important. So the “gap”: It's an old word in English and
they have a date record, 1380. So we know right there that we are not
talking about the store because it was not around in 1380.
So,
“Any opening or breach in an otherwise continuous object”. So, if the
gong has a nick in it we could say that's a “gap”. But not everything
is an object. But we will try and do that. We human beings want to make
anything an object and that's one of the main tasks that self-image assigns
itself. It makes an object of anything. It wants to make anything solid
so that it can then have the sense that it's in control. It makes the
body an object and gets very surprised when it looks one day at the skin
around its arm and notices it's full of wrinkles because it hasn't recognized
that there's process. The body is a process, just like practice is, but
we want to make an object out of it.
So,
“Any opening or breach by which entry may be effected” is also a definition
of “gap”. That must be pretty old, too, because there are things like
a gap in the ramparts around a castle. But when we look at it from the
point of view of practice and the point of view of the presentation, the
Dharma Assembly today, that's a good meaning: “An opening or a breach
by which entry may be affected.”
So
we talk about, in practice, “usual mind” and “ordinary mind”. A very simple
distinction is that “usual” is what we do before we practice and basically
what is going on most of the time for most of the humans that you'll meet.
“Ordinary mind” is the mind that has practised and is practising and that
means that it's actually looking, moment-to-moment, at experiencing and
seeing what's going on, and recognizing that we do not have to live with
the contractions of self-image. They are not inherent to the bodymind.
We make a choice to feed our attention into a story about what's going
on and that obstructs the natural intelligence of the bodymind.
Ordinary
mind means a mind that is unobstructed, a bodymind that is unobstructed,
a human being that actually knows where they are and what's going on and
is living in this moment un-contracted, or another traditional term is
“wholesome”. “Wholesome” in that context means “full and present” as opposed
to “unwholesome”, which is contracted. It is not a judgment as such, it
is a distinction.
“To
make a gap or a breach in or between” is another definition of “gap”,
a breach in or between. So we could say there is a breach in or between
our usual rounds of thought and feelings, that continuous, or apparently
continuous, stream of chit-chat, internal dialogue, ruminations, choices
about how to fashion ourselves in a certain moment, how to present ourselves
in a certain moment. And in the beginning of practice we do, when we sit
down, actually start to notice that what we are taking to be continuous,
the “blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,” the “blather, blather, blather,” “Yahde-yahda”
and something happens like…
[Osho
strikes gong]
…and
we go, “OH!”
And
we see for a moment that there's a room around us, that there's actually
more going on in our experience than what we had selected to fixate on.
The thoughts are not continuous. They arise in space. So a gap is created
in that usualness. That moment of “gap” is the only moment that you can
practise, actually, actively, practise. That is because you've Woken Up
for a moment. Head comes up, eyes open, there's an awareness, a knowing,
of the rest of experiencing, which is the rest of what's going on with
the bodymind. At that moment the instruction is to feel the breath, sit
up straight, feel other bodily sensations. So what you are doing is practising
the larger space which is the reality of experiencing in that moment.
Do
you have any questions about what has been said up to this point?
[Student]:
You mentioned, Osho, that we make a conscious decision not to be Awake,
and yet it feels as though it is completely unconscious; it's always there.
The moment of being Awake is a conscious decision. The rest of it is the
unconscious.
[Osho]
Well, we actually do have choice. We've always had choice about falling
into our stories. The choice, the capacity for choice, has always been
there. Just because someone didn't tell us doesn't mean that we don't
have the capacity. And yes, it can feel like we have no choice and the
longer we have had patterns running that have defined, and that we have
used to define, and that culture has used to define, us, it could be that
the patterns are going to present themselves quite strongly and because
we have believed them for so long, we can't believe that anything else
is possible. And patterns are not, as we all know, I am sure, patterns
are not just this little story, something that comes up, and we go “Oh
my goodness, a pattern”. No, this pattern or tendency affects the whole
body because each thing in the bodymind affects everything else. And nobody
knows how. Science doesn't know how, exactly, all of this occurs, but
we do know that when we learn something whole-bodily, whether we chose
to learn it or just had it patterned into us, that whenever the little
flag comes up pointing to that thing, there's a flood of biochemistry
that occurs, some of which can be very strong.
So
what we are dealing with is the phenomena of being a human being which
is very complex and can only, actually, be experienced. I am glad you
used the words, “seems like” because it does seem like, just as when we
get lost in a thought, it can seem like we leave the room because the
bodymind seems to disappear because we are very involved in that particular
story.
I
can tell you it's not true. We do not leave the Zendo or the Hatto when
we are caught up in our thoughts. Because if we did, I would say about
two minutes into a sitting round there would be “pop, pop, pop, pop” as
bodyminds magically disappeared and some of them might come
back when the gong is run at the end of the period…
[Laughter]
…full
room again. So yes, it “seems like” or “seems as if”, but we are learning
and it can be very difficult because practice is about learning what actually
occurs in the bodymind and we are learning it in a most unusual way, which
is through the experience of sitting it down on a zafu, sitting it down
for 30 minutes, which is something that we really don't like to do. We
don't really – well, self-image, for sure, doesn't like to do anything,
really. It will always find a million reasons why it can't or why it shouldn't
or why something else would be better. And by the way, if you find yourself
with some sort of discomfort, this is a more informal presentation and
so you certainly may change your posture. You can sit like this with one
leg up. That's a perfectly respectable posture. Because what's the point
if you are so all consumed, if you become consumed with discomfort…and
then you won't be able to hear these little pearls that I…
[Laughter]
Does
that answer your question? Does anyone else have a question they would
like to ask?
[Student]:
When a state is very big, let's say, I have the impression that you have
resistance, that anyone else telling you that you should get out of it
would increase it.
[Osho]:
Oh yes.
[Student]:
(inaudible – 3 words)
[Osho]:
That's right. And again, that's a pattern that's learned. That reactivity
is a pattern that's learned. The environment of practice is here only
so that you can practice. And we come here and we bring all of our little
patterns with us. Oh, yes, in the beginning we do try and leave them at
the door. You know, we believe we leave the fact that we are nasty; mean-tempered;
prone to swearing; might occasionally have a glass too much wine; might
smoke a joint from time to time; might have cheated just the “tiniest
bit” on our income tax; might have snapped at the dog, and so on… so we
just leave all that stuff at the door and often we'll try and put on some
sort of little face.
[Laughter]
[Osho]:
But of course we've known that, we've known for 2600 years that that's
what people do. So we come into the environment that's here for our practice
but we don't understand when we are told that it's actually here for your
practice and your practice and your practice. We are not used to that.
And we think that maybe it's “for the monks” and we are just allowed in
to somehow be startled and upset and reviled.
[Laughter]
[Osho]:
Then we start to get over that and we realize, yes, it really is for us
to see things that arise in our experiencing and the reactivities are
us. Reactivities to just about anything. Someone will come along, when
you're sitting, to adjust your posture. So, we get our posture adjusted
and then all sorts of things can come up. “They touched me.” “They shouldn't
touch me.” “I was straight.” “She made me crooked.” “Why don't they leave
me alone?” “I am doing the best I can.” “Oh yeah..right…only pay attention
when I'm doing something wrong.”
So
all sorts of reactivities. Now, bear in mind I am speaking only of myself,
and only in the early stages of my practice, right, because none of you
have experienced anything like that.
[Laughter]
[Osho]:
This is how human beings are. This is how self-image is. That's what we
are working with. It's interesting that in practice interviews, for instance,
very occasionally, once someone has really started to trust that what
they are being taught is true, and that what is being said is true, and
that you can say anything in a practice interview…that we start to tell
the content… I think in the course of the past 13 or 14 years, only a
couple of times has someone said to me, “I just wanted to punch you. Well,
when you did this I got this [Osho imitates the sound of something like
a wildcat growling].” Because we are still not convinced that we can even
talk about something like that because “it means that we are a bad person”.
We
have forgotten that behavior, (right?), behavior is what we have control
over. So the wanting to act out, or having a reactivity that causes us
to want to say something nasty or to inflict damage on the practice advisor
or the Dharma Teacher, is not who we are; it's a reactivity that's going
on. So as with anything, when something's done there'll be a reactivity
and there could often be stronger push not to react. So there could be
a bigger resistance, like “Who are you to tell me what to do?” [Osho laughs].
Is
that the kind of thing that you are talking about?
[Student]:
“Gassho”.
[Osho]:
So you feel the breath, you sit up straight. The thing you want to do,
first of all, with any reactivity, is to get a better look at it and you
get a better look at something by looking at it more closely in an unobstructed
space. So space becomes obstructed by other reactivities, such as “You
shouldn't have this”; “this shouldn't be happening”; “his means that…”
and all the other stories that we have.
So
you are looking for the gap in that stream of reactivities. And one day
you notice it and the bodymind will actually practise in that moment.
And it can occur in such a way that you may realize that self-image, who
is always directing things, actually did not go through the steps of feeling
the breath, feeling the hands and feet, sitting up straight; that that
happened and we noticed it. The bodymind itself loves to practise because
it is going from contracted to open. The movement is always from contracted
to open. And when self-image stops picking on the bodymind, when we stop
picking on it – “we” being the thing we think we are, the thing that lives
up behind the eyes that has all of these different descriptions of itself,
well, that's “self-image.” When we practise with self-image and its numerous
definitions of how we are, and how the world is, and what's going on,
then those gaps in the habitual patterns and reactivities become wider
and more and more frequent.
So
the bodymind will present itself in spite of, perhaps, us being “lost”
that sense of being carried away with something. This can be disconcerting,
particularly if say we have a strong attachment or have learned to hang
on to a particular pattern for whatever reason, for whatever adjective
we may use to describe it. But we have deemed it useful because it has
been around for a long time and we can generate all sorts of stories about
why we shouldn't lose it. So we will start to see that and experiencing
will open, will be more wholesome, less obstructed. But that can be quite
disconcerting because you could be, you could find yourself in full rant
about something and the bodymind will present itself like [Osho inhales
sharply] and there can really be a profound dislocation that can occur.
Has anyone ever noticed that type of thing?
[Students
concur]
[Osho]:
Yes, profound dislocation. And we can take that to be upsetting. So there's
this gap and then self-image will want to turn it into something else
because it always wants to define and send out these sticky strings that
are going to keep things in place. You keep practising with it each time
you notice anything about how you are. Practise with it. Don't bother.
Don't follow along with that game of counting coloured stones. Discriminating:
“This is the kind of thing we can practice with.” “This isn't.” So self-image
will want to discriminate and it wants to discriminate in ways that say
“Okay, I was sitting here lost in thought but I was thinking about practice.”
[Laughter]
So,
that's okay. And on the other hand we'll be sitting here thinking about
what we are going to buy at the grocery store. Not okay. Both of them
are the same thing, and both are practised with, in exactly the same way
during formal practice. You will not lose the capacity to go to the grocery
store to get what you need to get; nor will you lose the capacity to practise.
In fact, by practising at either of those “gaps” that occur, opening to
the larger context, practising when you notice it, regardless of content,
is what you are supposed to do. That is the instruction.
Anything
else?
[Student]:
I thought it very interesting the way you turned the word, the “gap” on
its head because when I first read the title of this Dharma Assembly I
was thinking, “Oh, this is going to be a list of all the things I do bad
when I'm practising.”
[Osho]:
I rest my case.
[Laughter]
[Osho]:
That's what self-image does. Well, good for you for showing up.
[Laughter]
[Osho]:
It is important to question. You know, that question, “What is it? What
does it mean?” What definition are you putting on it?” “What definition
do I have.” Then we can know what we are talking about, more or less.
The question gets us a little closer to the mark.
[Student]:
I find that when that dislocation that you are talking about happens,
self-image will try to take out the – what's happening now as like a new
stance and say, like, “okay now I'm mindful” and to kind of maybe like
cover over that dislocation or like make it manageable or something?
[Osho]:
Always. The ticket is – self-image wanting to, as you say, make things
manageable. It wants to be in control. It's prepared to lose all of its
definitions about itself as long as it's in control still. So you start
to recognize, as you are practising, that any view that comes up about
how you are and how the world is, is questionable. And you question it
when you sit on the zafu by recognizing that you have an opportunity to
practise. The draw of content is very strong. We're content junkies. We
believe if we don't have the words, we don't have anything. That's what
we believe: Words are more important than anything else.
Now,
this is not true. Words did not come before human beings. In the course
of evolution, words did not come before experience. Words developed so
that there was a way of describing what we were talking about – rather,
what was going on, what was happening, what was occurring. So the words
were developed to describe what was occurring with experiencing. But now,
the beginning of the 21 st Century, we believe that words are more…
[Distant
sound of tenzo-anja striking the lunch bell]
…significant
than and more important than, the experience, that moment of experience.
So we have developed more and better words.
I'm
not saying that we go and live in a world where we are going [Osho makes
a series of grunts]. Not at all. Unless you are talking to chimps, maybe,
but even they are developing linguistic capacities. But let's just look
more into what's actually being talked about, what's actually being presented
in any situation.
[Student]:
What if the pattern is self-destructive and then the whole issue of self-image
wanting to disappear goes right to work against instead of being a help…
[Osho]:
You
see, it really doesn't matter what we call the contraction into a self.
We could call it “self-destructive”; we could call it “self-enabling”;
we could call it “positive”; we could call it “negative”. It doesn't matter
what you call it when you are sitting on the cushion, and bear in mind
what we are talking about most specifically, is actual practise, when
we are actually sitting in formal zazen. What do we do with it? (…Because
self-image will generate all sorts of stories). When you are practising,
and you are sitting zazen, and you notice any contraction, regardless
of how self-image wants to label it: Feel the breath; sit up straight;
tuck the chin in; feel the hands and the feet. Practise.
We
spoke earlier, just at the beginning, about the use of forms. If you notice
that there's a very strong pattern going on, and of course you feel it
physically, as it were, because we do – any movement of mind produces
some effect, as it were, in the body. So that patterns have a strength
to them. Balance out that strength. So if you notice that the tendency
is to move towards certain stories about the pattern which can be very
strong; feel the hands with that same intensity; feel the feet and the
knees and the spine with the same intensity; see the seeing with that
same intensity. And rather than having this great lump of aggression that's
aggressive all over, what you will find is that whatever that pattern
was will balance out. There is a lot of energy available from any pattern,
from any state, when you are working with it in that way. And of course,
what you learn, what the bodymind learns sitting zazen, is encoded in
the bodymind. It is whole-body learning. If you are working with something
that is habitual and strong and you are working with it in that way, you
will find that you may be involved in the rant off the cushion, in informal
practise, and all of a sudden you get [Osho makes some kind of sound that
seems related to release] and again there is that dislocation that can
occur and it can scare us because self-image will come up with stories
about losing your mind, “I really lost it. Yes, that's it, I've lost it”
because we don't have all those sticky bits that are working to keep us
in one place, very solid, acting in a certain way, as we have habitually
acted.
[Student]:
Might do something weird.
[Osho]:
Yes. Well, you can't get more weird than sitting facing the wall so you
may as well get into the rest of it.
[Student]:
Could it be that simple?
[Osho]:
Yes, “ we ” know about it.
[Student]:
It was very interesting, Osho, in answering James' question you used the
word “questionable” and normally we perceive that of being dubious, it
has a dubious connotation. And when you do think about questioning into
things and there are so many things that you think I shouldn't question
into because I would truly lose my mind. And it's um hmmmm.
[Osho]:
It's all questionable. It really is, from both senses of the word. Yes.
[Student]:
I find sometimes, too, you'll be sitting there and then you realize and
then you go back to the breath but the story before was really interesting?
And then you are sitting there – “That was an interesting story, I'd like
to go back to that, but that's okay because I am choosing to
go back to it”.
[Osho]:
Right, and that's what happens. It's not a problem, but once you start
to notice that then you say “Okay, well I don't need to follow that do
I? Won't lose it. Most of our interesting stories, you know, we'll have
access to should we want them for something like to make a point or to
tell someone an interesting story or to write it down. The
stories cease to draw us. They lose their interest for us, really, after
a while, after seeing them in context.
[Student]:
You've mentioned about practising using the energy of the…can't think
of the word now…the strong tendencies…to take that energy and apply it
to the practice and I am thinking that I have experienced a lot of, oftentimes
in practice, a drowsiness or apathy or just passivity or…it's just a real…I
think drowsiness speaks for quite a lot of it. How do you take that energy?
It almost feels like a lack of energy and how do you directly deal with
something like that and turn it into the strength of that? It doesn't
feel like a strength at all. It feels like the sense of a lack of strength
or interest. So how do you take that and turn it into practice?
[Osho]:
Well, the first thing, as soon as you notice it, a drowsiness – it could
be the eyes flick down, they start to close and there is the narrowing
of the visual field. When you notice that, feel the breath, sit up straight,
really sit up straight, really feel the spine, because you've noticed.
So in the moment of noticing you can exercise a little Samatha or will
or effort. So you can straighten in that moment. And then when you have
done that you can feel the hands, you can feel the feet. Do not expect
it to be continuous once you've done it. This is another thing that we
will do with practice: We think, “There, yes, okay. That's it. Now I'm
bright and bushy-tailed so I am going to be like this for the rest of
the sitting and for all sittings ever after.” Well, it's not true.
[Laughter]
[Osho]:
But for that moment you have practised. Practice is practising with what's
going on in the moment and yes, we do get tired. We might have a cold.
We might be getting older.
[Laughter]
[Osho]:
We want things to be the same and solid. That's self-image. Nothing is
the same. Everything really is changing. We've all lost trillions of cells
since we walked into the Hatto this morning. So there is this constant
change. But we will lock ourselves into being a certain way. We will say,
“Yeah, that's it. I'm too tired.” And the bodymind seems to go “Oh? Tired.
You want tired? Okay.” That's what it does; it's just interesting in that
way. Like…try not to think of a pink Buddha. Right? What happens?
[Laughter]
[Student]:
Pink Buddha.
[Osho]:
Right. That's how the bodymind is. It's incredibly intelligent, so rather
than not recognizing that, let's recognize it and recognize that every
little thought, every little “bip”, “bip” that comes along affects how
we are. Why fall for just one story? And it's usually the least interesting
one about how we are and tends toward incapacity. We are very good at
incapacity.
So
it's not about making yourself a certain way. It's practising with whatever
is going on in that moment. Practice is practise of your life up to the
point of death. When you are sick you can practise; when we are losing
capacity we can practise. Okay?
Is
there anything else?
[Pause]
[Osho]:
Birth, old age, sickness and death, and in between there's this moment
and this moment and this moment and this moment and you start to see each
one more and more clearly with all the richness present that is actually
occurring, that the bodymind is actually responding to. You might as well
notice it. It's your life.
Was
there something?
[Student]:
There seem to be three moments between the duration and decaying of the
moment and the building of the next: There seems to be states or nothing
or gap. Are we choosing gap, also?
[Osho]:
Well, let's see. You spoke about the arising and decaying of moments.
Well, “moment” is only a word and we are using it to describe something
that is continuous, basically. There's moment after moment after moment.
It is not as if there's little things that arise as a moment and then
another moment and that one's gone. So language is very liquid when we're
talking about practice because of course it's not describing anything
solid. So let's just say there is the vastness of Awareness; the vastness
of Knowing; or the vastness of experiencing. That's what we are talking
about. So in that there arises moments of experience that arise, decay
and fall and yes, in between moments of experience that are noticed, there
is a gap. No moment of experience is continuous. So we are practising
that moment, that gap.
Does
that clarify?
[Student]:
Yes. Sometimes when we talk about “nothing”, I mean in the teisho, are
we also talking about the same thing there as that gap?
[Osho]:
I would need the context of the particular teisho, so you are certainly
welcome to get the context and then we can talk about the…bearing in mind,
as I said at the beginning, Roshi used the word “gap” in our practice,
in one particular teisho. But the word was being used at that time in
a different way than I am using it now. No word is the be-all and the
end-all and the final word to describe whatever nor are they describing
the same thing. And that in itself is a very interesting thing to look
at, to start to look at how language is used and what it is actually describing.
We take a lot of things for granted so most of us spend a lot of our time
not knowing what's going on at all, which is not in the sense of practice,
but just if we're out and about, what's being talked about. And we fail
to notice even incredibly incongruent things like advertisers telling
us to express our individuality by all getting the same thing. You know.
[Laughter]
[Osho]:
It's almost lunch time, so we will have practice interviews in the afternoon.
Is there any last moment…
[Student]:
Since I notice the breath, why can't I just let the body breathe? It's
kind of like I have to go one-two-three, one-two-three. It seems like
if I stop running it, it would just stop working. I've been working for
a long time to let that go and as soon as I pay attention to it, it is
like having to manage it.
[Osho]:
Here's what you can do with that; just notice when you are doing that
pattern, when that pattern is running, and then just feel the body moving
with it, just for that moment. You are just noticing this phenomena and
over time, and with practise of each moment that you notice, it will shift.
How you are understanding it, how you are doing it, what pattern comes
up, will change. And most probably you won't stop breathing at that point.
[Laughter]
[Osho]:
Anything else at all?
[Student]:
(The Roshi said during Mishin shramon's ordination, “You think you've
seen fun, you've seen nothing yet; and if you think you've seen fear,
you haven't seen nothing yet. Wait till you see nothing.” And I am wondering
if I understand that the nothing has…seems to get recognized sometimes
through our practice and seems to be what's between moments. So I am wondering
if that's an aspect or another way of talking about gaps between moments.
I am wondering if I understand that or…?
[Osho]:
Well, what you are trying to do here is something that we commonly do
in practice, you are trying to make a quilt out of it – taking little
bits from here and little bits from there, and trying to come up with
a seamless whole. Okay? This is what we do; we've been taught how to do
this. What we want to see is how we are doing that, how that occurs, how
that pattern comes up and wants to. This is definitely self-image trying
to pull together bits and pieces to try to make this seamless whole without
recognizing that the seamless whole is what is.
Anything
else?
[Student]:
Just a quick observation, that would replacing a pattern with another
pattern not be a sort of covering a hole with a hole?
[Osho]:
Well, that would be what it is, but that's not what we are doing. That's
one way people have worked with things such as negative thoughts. There're
some instances where people will say, “take a negative thought, turn it
into a positive thought,” so in that sense what you are saying is very
accurate. Yes, covering a hole with a hole, wasting a lot of time. But
seeing a pattern, practising with a pattern so that you are not acting
it out, this is what happens with zazen. You are sitting there, you are
seeing patterns, you are recognizing them eventually as such, you are
feeling the breath, you are sitting up straight. You are practising. By
not feeding into it, it's wearing out. So you are not replacing it with
anything. You are wearing it out so that it is no longer there. You still
won't forget to, you know, get the Piccadilly Line and get off at South
Harrow if you are going to Harrow Zazenkai to sit when you are in London
.
[Osho
strikes gong]
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2004 White Wind Zen Community. All rights reserved.
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